My movement practice connects me to my body, but more importantly, it connects me to my Self… my heart, the very feeling being of me.
Why is it that when I feel most closed off internally to my heart, I am most likely to be lazy with my movement practice? The human body is a giant sensory organ. We are made to feel… to feel the full spectrum of what it means to be a human… externally (physical world) and internally (emotional world). It’s ok to feel deeply sometimes… even when it hurts. It’s a sign that I am real, authentic, and healthy.
This week I’ve had a huge emotional process. Lots of feelings swirling from just the simple daily adulting of life. It has also been a week with too little movement. When I don’t move my body enough, it is a sign that I am not feeling the depths of my heart enough. I tend to hold emotional tension and stress both physically and emotionally. By the end of a week, it can feel like I’m carrying an extra load on my shoulders. I’ve got enough on my plate… I don’t need to carry anything that doesn’t serve me.
Tonight’s movement session helped with a bit of a reset. My knee has actually been feeling better the past couple days. It’s almost as if the pop I felt last week was beneficial. My theory is that I had a cyst forming in the medial capsule from the surgery and the pop was the cyst being squeezed out and reabsorbed by my body. I’m guessing there is still some cyst (or whatever it is in the joint space). The knee still feels unstable at full extension. I can balance on the 2×4 and 2-inch bar, but I don’t dare get on the slackline yet. I’ve also had a bit of left side neck tension. Probably a secondary issue due to gait issues related to the knee pain.
In this session, I focused on rehab for the knee and neck, which really meant moving joint by joint through the entire body with a focus on the feet, knees, hips, spine, and breath. At the same time, I felt deeply into my heart. I allowed all the feelings from the week to move. I allowed myself to feel, surrender, and let go… As if someone was physically taking a weight off my shoulder. There is still more underneath, but it feels good being a little lighter for the moment.