In this session, I’m focusing on moving and feeling. Being in pain takes an emotional toll. It is real. No matter how strong we tell ourselves we are… we also can feel weak and vulnerable. I find it is important to be real and honest about this aspect of movement. Emotional movement is equally as important in physical movement when developing a movement practice.
Knee Therapy Movement Meditation
It is Sunday morning and the last day of Spring Break. I’m feeling the need to nurture my body. Tomorrow I am back to the parenting/school/work schedule. My knee feels much better compared to Wednesday when I hurt it. It is close to being back to how it felt on Tuesday… which is still far from where I want it to be.
Dealing with a structural pain issue is super frustrating. I can do a ton to improve functional issues, but I can’t change my structure. The medial joint capsule of my left knee has a structural issue. It is hard to know which movements are good for it and which ones will aggravate it. A movement may be good for my knee on Monday and bad on Wednesday. Which means I have to listen really well to my body… every day… with every movement… This is challenging. Sometimes I want to cut loose and just move… move hard and move fast. Sometimes I miss moving how used to be capable of moving… before injuries started mounting on top of each other.
I have to remind myself that it is ok to feel frustrated… that it’s ok to be angry with my former self and the decisions I made. It’s ok to feel… even when feeling doesn’t feel good. But it is also important to surrender these feelings. They are not me… not who I am. It’s something I am holding and I can just as easily let it go as I can pull it closer. My choice is to let it go and feel deeper. When I feel deeper… I feel deeply connected. I get glimpses of the larger orchestrations of life. I feel forgiveness and acceptance towards myself and my body. I feel an incredible amount of gratitude and pride; that considering what my body has been through; I can still do half the cool stuff I able to do… and it could be so much worse.
I love that I get to work all this stuff out physically as well as emotionally. By the end of the session, my body feels more mobility and stability, and my heart feels more open, accepting, and willing to persevere.